I think we can all agree that 2016 was a terrible, TERRIBLE year that can’t end soon enough.
However, Christmas has arrived in the blink of an eye and this year I was entirely unprepared for it. It just sort of turned up like an uninvited house guest demanding special treatment and attention.
I am feeling incredibly wistful about the Christmases experienced as a child, when responsibility for the festive holiday was someone else’s job. You could just sit in your pyjamas by the fire watching Home Alone and relishing in the deliciousness of doing absolutely nothing.
Christmas as an adult is like getting robbed and then being shoved in a Tumble dryer full of tinsel, mince pies, fairylights and self loathing – and left there until the new year. I don’t feel the oasis of calm I did as a kid. I feel panic. Lots and lots of panic. Also, a deep-seated need to be super generous while hemorrhaging lots of money on presents that (experience dictates) some of the recipients probably won’t even like that much.
There is such pressure to be seen as holly jolly and affluent and ‘doing Christmas well’ by wearing Christmas jumpers and drinking mulled wine while listening to the Trinity Choir Carol CD and making homemade Pinterest-worthy Christmas decorations …
(Ten seconds later)
When actually I just want to crawl home after a 9 or 11 hour working day and curl up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and my boyfriend, Mr Maybe… Until I fall asleep on his shoulder ten minutes later.
Is that so much to ask?
I think not.
The worst part of the whole Christmas experience as an adult is the guilt factor.
You need to BUY this or you aren’t Christmassy!
You need to DO this or you aren’t Christmassy!
You need to WEAR this or you aren’t Christmassy!
You don’t WANT TO GO WASSAILING??! – HAVE YOU NO SOUL??!!
The truth is, I’m not in the mood for Christmas this year. 2016 has been an avalanche of crap with a cherry on top. I want to get into my pyjamas, drink wine and pretend this year never happened. I’ll even stretch to MULLED wine if it makes people feel more comfortable.
Forget the forced camaraderie
Forget the extortionate prices of EVERYTHING.
Forget people demanding you to “Get in the spirit”
Forget the pressure to buy, buy, buy.
I just want to eat a bumper pack of Kinder bars, watch the Vicar of Dibley and sleep, sleep, sleep. With this in mind I am heading to the countryside to visit my judgement-free parents for Christmas where I will be consuming my body weight in both mince pies and chicken soup – and hibernating until New Years Eve.
Merry Christmas Everyone!