I’M GOING TO BE A BRIDESMAID!!

I have FINALLY been asked to be a bridesmaid! I have been waiting for this moment with an air of blasé faux disinterest for twenty five years, mostly because my friends are either too commitment phobic or geographically undesirable to let me live my dream.

As a result, when I got the text message asking me to be a bridesmaid I may or may not have done a victory lap around the room with my t-shirt over my head. I also may or may not have been wearing a bra at the time but that’s besides the point.

Now for the hard part – getting into shape to immortalise this glorious moment in style.

Obviously I need to get into shape anyway as A) My waistline is currently in that of a squashed baked potatoe and B) I’ve reached an age where words like ‘low cholesterol’ and ‘high fiber’ are now depressingly relevant to me.

Mercifully the wedding isn’t until October so I have plenty of time to get fit. But one huge hurdle for me is that my time is completely dominated by a hamster wheel of commuting, work and a tiny four hour gap to eat / relax with my boyfriend in the evening before I pass out on the sofa. My willpower to make time for a daily workout has diminished over the years to the point it is now non existent.

So when and how was I going to do this?

Luckily for me I don’t have to be at work until 09:30, so I could feasibly wake up at 05:00am and do a sixty to ninety minute workout before I have to jump in the shower and go to work. 

On paper this sounds all well and good. I have friends who wake up at this ungodly hour no problem at all. Farmers, business owners, gym enthusiasts, horse riders, first time parents – you know, crazy people.

I just wasn’t convinced I was one of them, you know? Could I really see myself bright eyed and bushy tailed at 05:00am, headbutting my crotch and drinking wheatgrass? That was the $100 question. 

Part of me would like to think I will take to the mindfully active lifestyle once more like a duck to water… but then there is the legitimate concern I will wake up buried under a pile of Kinder bar wrappers having blacked out and gone on a chocolate bar rampage.

Anyway, now I knew ‘when’ I was going to work out I needed to solve the problem of ‘how.’ 

I say ‘problem‘ because I cleverly managed to mangle my ankle when I helped a friend move house recently. I twisted and fell on it with both my full body weight and the weight of an antique laqured writing table at the same time.

ankle1

Although it was x-rayed and found not to be broken, it still hurt like an SOB when I moved it a certain way. A month and a half later I’m able to walk without hobbling – but I can’t run on it at all and I generally have to hang my foot off the edge of the bed in order to sleep. Which makes figuring out a workout plan a lot more complicated.

This is why I settled on trying yoga and pilates.

I have dabbled with pilates and yoga previously, but it seemed too low impact. I was so used to throwing myself around to a jungle techno beat and an angry DVD instructor yelling at me from the TV screen that calm wind chimes and instructions to ‘zip and hollow my stomach’ didn’t feel like was going to make a dent. How could this be a workout? It’s stretching! I thought, “if I’m not pouring with sweat five minutes in it mustn’t be doing the job.” 

Now that I had no choice other than doing Pilates and Yoga I had to put all those preconceptions away. After all, check out those yogies and dancers with their long lean limbs, defined muscles and toned bodies… If that was the result, then it was worth giving a try – right?

Point is, I’m going to be a bridesmaid and I can either do that looking great and feeling smug or hiding behind the other girls because I depression-drank my body weight in red wine the night before.

So… Pilates and yoga it is!

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