Another beautiful day in london…

It’s raining. 

In fact, its been raining all day.

Actually I would go so far as to say that it’s been raining in a way that is almost exclusive to London (a fine mist that comes from all directions).

This is rain that you can’t seem to escape. Rain that almost becomes an oppressive smog. The embodiment of a thousand broken dreams jabbing you from all sides.

It’s the sort of rain where other people in the office look out of the window and proudly announce “It’s raining” as if they have discovered Prince William tap dancing in the street wearing a sombrero.

And although I appreciate the spontaneity of an impromptu drenching now and again – I do hate commuting while its continuously drizzling like this.

Everyone heads for the tube which turns into a slippery orgy of sodden cagoules, pavement tidal waves, unhappy faces and umbrella rage. 

This morning it was like a sauna due to the unnatural combination of it being so wet outside and yet still relatively warm on the underground. This, coupled with a shut window, created a suffocating vacuum. It was so humid the windows of the carriage were fogged up much like the scene in Titanic where Rose slaps her palm against the pane mid-orgasm.

And yet… There were still people stubbornly encased in leather jackets and thermal outerwear, thick woollen jumpers and gloves. You could see their foreheads peppered with beads of sweat and yet they refused to disrobe – even a little. Even for comforts sake. I know we have a stiff upper lip here in England, but when that same stiff upper lip is covered with sweat its okay to unzip your weatherproof. This isn’t the 1900’s. You can show a little shoulder. 

When I was little, Mothership used to say “You make me feel hot when I look at you!”

But back then I was seriously athletic and had the body fat ratio of a Chihuahua, so I was covered in layers of jumpers and scarves at all times.

Now I finally appreciated what she meant.

I felt like yelling “JESUS PEOPLE – YOU MAKE ME FEEL HOT WHEN I LOOK AT YOU!”

But this would receive a mixed, partially alarmed and mostly bemused response. 

With minimal eye contact.

As we all stand there dripping and tutting in unison.

Because it’s raining

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