I’ve got a swanky do to go to at the end of November. A do that requires full-on glam and a cocktail dress. I’m slightly panicked about the entire situation
Hopefully you can relate.
You see… Last year Mr Maybes sister got married.
Shopping for the wedding was traumatising. Especially as a designated social hermit who recoils at the thought of looking at her 32 year old (once athletic) body in a full length and unforgiving retail mirror. Mr Maybe is the opposite. He loves to shop. And look at himself in mirrors. To a concerning level.
As I was obviously procrastinating about the whole “dress” situation, he set aside a whole weekend and frog marched me around four department stores and various boutiques until we came to Karen Millen
(Side note: All hail Karen Millen. Whenever I try on her clothes I look marginally less like mashed potato in clingfilm)
I tried on a pile of different dresses until we came to a final selection of two. One elegant and long and one fun and short
I went for the long one because I appreciated the extra material in the depths of a hideously cold November.
And you want to know the kicker? Despite the spanx, the plucking, the shaving, the hairspray, the spackle – not one picture of me was taken. Not even by Mr Maybe. I could have forgone the trauma of Oxford street, attended in a bin bag rolled in dog excrement and nobody would have been any the wiser. Which reminds me of a favorite tshirt I used to wear as a teen that had “today was a total waste of makeup” smeared upon it as if it were written with lipstick.
ANYWAY. Fast forward to this year and we are attending the now annual black tie anniversary do for the same couple … and I need another dress.
The upshot is – Karen Millen has saved me once again by designing what I hope to be a gorgeous satin, electric blue number. The downside? To be honest we haven’t been formally introduced considering I ordered it online…
So – it might be the most gorgeous dress in existence and yet also not fit me.
Update: It arrived, it’s gorgeous…
And yes. It also didnt fit me…
Because I ordered the wrong size. Like a total numpty.
Now the right dress is hanging proudly in my wardrobe, the bad news is that it’s still a teenie tiny bit on the snug side
And when I say snug I refer you to the text message I received from Mothership on seeing my LBD (little blue dress) for the first time
However – surely this is an excellent bit of motivation to keep working out and toning up?
Because when I photobomb the bride this year I want to look smokin’