Commuting 2 – what fresh hell…

Like many people with jobs, my least favorite part of the day is commuting. I loathe it with a passion. As I am NOT (at any stretch of the imagination) a "people" person, becoming trapped in a metal tube pressed up against a large (and mostly pungent) number of them while hurtling unceremoniously through the … Continue reading Commuting 2 – what fresh hell…

Stomach demons, Coffee edition

I have noticed that as the years have gone by I have developed a complicated relationship with coffee. This never used to be the case. I could chug it like water and it would have no effect on me. Even before bed. And when I say no effect I mean - nothing. No energy boost, … Continue reading Stomach demons, Coffee edition

So this is thirty … (two)

It was my thirty-second birthday on Wednesday. I would have posted about it... but it was tremendously low-key and spent deep cleaning my flat, doing the laundry, wallowing in the bath and binge watching Netflix while drinking large quantities of rum. Much like Captain Jack Sparrow. As you do. It's a weird feeling to enter … Continue reading So this is thirty … (two)

Well… this is awkward. AKA retrospective blogging

I don't know about any of you who may or may not have a blog of your own, but vast quantities of The Mottled Macaroon is in draft form and posted in retrospect. Generally my life is a fabulous mess swirling round on itself like microwave porridge. And despite this admittedly being a bottomless pit … Continue reading Well… this is awkward. AKA retrospective blogging

Therapy of choice? Pumpkin carving

Mr Maybe and I carved pumpkins last night. I have to admit I had been looking forward to this for quite a while. Mostly because reaching for a kitchen knife after a long, hard day in the office and proceeding to yank out a pumpkins innards - only to then additionally carve a smiling face into … Continue reading Therapy of choice? Pumpkin carving

Three fictional Characters tag

I saw this thing on Instagram that said ‘describe yourself in three fictional characters.’ People had taken screenshots of the three fictional characters that best described them as a person and reposted them in response. These are mine. One is (obviously) Bridget Jones. Unlike Bridget, I don’t smoke - and certainly won’t drink excessively unless … Continue reading Three fictional Characters tag

The art of the HURKLE DURKLE

Today I am epitomising Hurkle-Durkle. A Scottish word meaning ‘lounging around in bed when you should be up and about doing other things.’ We Brits are bereft of a Hurkle-Durkle of our very own. You’d think a man like Shakespeare would have rustled up a word to do the job but he was clearly too … Continue reading The art of the HURKLE DURKLE

The best picture I have probably ever taken

I took this picture in 2012 and it remains one of the best I have ever taken. I was going through a horrible breakup when my parents (in their infinite wisdom) whisked me away on a much needed holiday to Canada. We were in Kelowna when I took this picture. I'm not one for waxing lyrical … Continue reading The best picture I have probably ever taken

Why I’m proud of Taylor Swift

I'm really proud of Taylor Swift for speaking out about the unwanted physical attention she received from a certain radio DJ - and in turn (quite rightly) winning her court case. The DJ was found to have lifted the back of Swifts skirt and grab her bum while posing for a photo with the star … Continue reading Why I’m proud of Taylor Swift

Another beautiful day in london…

It's raining.  In fact, its been raining all day. Actually I would go so far as to say that it's been raining in a way that is almost exclusive to London (a fine mist that comes from all directions). This is rain that you can't seem to escape. Rain that almost becomes an oppressive smog. … Continue reading Another beautiful day in london…


I have FINALLY been asked to be a bridesmaid! I have been waiting for this moment with an air of blasé faux disinterest for twenty five years, mostly because my friends are either too commitment phobic or geographically undesirable to let me live my dream. As a result, when I got the text message asking me to … Continue reading I’M GOING TO BE A BRIDESMAID!!

Remain calm

Like every other person out there, I was looking forward to starting the new year by etch-a-sketching the amount I ate and drank over the holiday period and beginning the self-congratulatory road to both enlightenment and rock hard abs. Sadly, since the beginning of the new year there has been building work going on at … Continue reading Remain calm

Christmas 2016

I think we can all agree that 2016 was a terrible, TERRIBLE year that can't end soon enough. However, Christmas has arrived in the blink of an eye and this year I was entirely unprepared for it. It just sort of turned up like an uninvited house guest demanding special treatment and attention. I am feeling incredibly … Continue reading Christmas 2016

The My abusive relationship with Pretty Little Liars

I have a seriously unhealthy relationship with 'Pretty Little Liars.' Admittedly, as a thirty-something English woman I'm not exactly the target demographic for American teen drama shows. But it turns out binge-watching ‘Scream Queens’ while idly doing the laundry was the gateway drug and now Pandoras box is open. My relationship with this particular show … Continue reading The My abusive relationship with Pretty Little Liars