As you can probably tell - I'm in a weird mood. My skin has partially broken out (bad), the inland revenue gave me £4,000 for overtaxing last year (good) - and my auntie just died (heartbreaking). There are also thunderflies everywhere, which makes any situation ten times worse. I attended the funeral in a fabulous … Continue reading I’m in a weird mood
I saw this and simply couldn't resist sharing with you. Free speech working its magic, delighting the eyes on a dreary commute and also tickling the collective funny bone. Artist, whoever you may be, I salute you
Everyone in our W1 office has some form of bug, flu or plague at the moment and inevitably my time has now come to share in this unwelcome game of tag. As it's Easter, my parents have taken pity on me and insisted I visit them regardless of the projectile mucus and 'Regan'-esque Exorcist vocals … Continue reading All you need is love (and books and chicken soup…)
Okay. So. As you know, I have been struggling with my health recently. I have been a bit of a pass-the-parcel patient of late. I went to the doctor, who referred me to a gyno, who sent me to have a transvaginal ultrasound. This was conducted by a kindly, older Dr (who was the spitting … Continue reading I found Narnia – and it was terrifying
For lent I decided that rather than develop a particularly pragmatic outlook on life and eschew things like wine, cake or day dreaming about either Johnathan Taylor Thomas or Tyler Blackburn... I would be giving up something else Heels. Well, sort of. I'm actually giving up commuting in heels. Even the low ones. There is … Continue reading Veloceraptor heels
It was Valentines Day last week. Except - it wasn't just Valentines Day. It was also my six-year anniversary with Mr Maybe, my (long suffering) boyfriend. "Who has their first date on Valentines Day?" You might ask. Well, we did. If only to ensure that if it all worked out we would both remember exactly when Kismet first struck. Anyway … Continue reading Meeting the parents… Part 1
When the stress of it all gets to be too much and Tuesday just isn't Friday enough...
I think the worst thing about getting a cold is that plummeting gut-feeling on discovering the carrier monkey in your life (lets call him Brian for the sake of argument) is oozing at the seams with bacteria. It's an eye-rolling sense of "Oh great" that (upon reflection) is entirely justified. Some people are capable of … Continue reading Cold Rush
Okay. I am usually a very calm individual. You know, on the outside. However certain things make me incandescent with rage. And one of these things includes a person blatantly copying me. The way I see it, this is not the greatest sign of flattery. It's a lack of originality. The list of things that … Continue reading Like, why are you so obsessed with me?
I discovered the following on the tube this morning. An empty bottle of wine abandoned on the opposite seat. On a Thursday. At 07:30... And it made me reconsider both my commuting route and my life choices. Because - damn... I'm clearly not adulting correctly
Here is a little overly-dramatic cartoon for you to depict the abject misery I am currently wallowing in. I read that some menstrual cramps can be as painful as early labor pains. Which makes so much sense.
I have noticed that as the years have gone by I have developed a complicated relationship with coffee. This never used to be the case. I could chug it like water and it would have no effect on me. Even before bed. And when I say no effect I mean - nothing. No energy boost, … Continue reading Stomach demons, Coffee edition
It was my thirty-second birthday on Wednesday. I would have posted about it... but it was tremendously low-key and spent deep cleaning my flat, doing the laundry, wallowing in the bath and binge watching Netflix while drinking large quantities of rum. Much like Captain Jack Sparrow. As you do. It's a weird feeling to enter … Continue reading So this is thirty … (two)
I don't know about any of you who may or may not have a blog of your own, but vast quantities of The Mottled Macaroon is in draft form and posted in retrospect. Generally my life is a fabulous mess swirling round on itself like microwave porridge. And despite this admittedly being a bottomless pit … Continue reading Well… this is awkward. AKA retrospective blogging
Mr Maybe and I carved pumpkins last night. I have to admit I had been looking forward to this for quite a while. Mostly because reaching for a kitchen knife after a long, hard day in the office and proceeding to yank out a pumpkins innards - only to then additionally carve a smiling face into … Continue reading Therapy of choice? Pumpkin carving
I saw this thing on Instagram that said ‘describe yourself in three fictional characters.’ People had taken screenshots of the three fictional characters that best described them as a person and reposted them in response. These are mine. One is (obviously) Bridget Jones. Unlike Bridget, I don’t smoke - and certainly won’t drink excessively unless … Continue reading Three fictional Characters tag
Today I am epitomising Hurkle-Durkle. A Scottish word meaning ‘lounging around in bed when you should be up and about doing other things.’ We Brits are bereft of a Hurkle-Durkle of our very own. You’d think a man like Shakespeare would have rustled up a word to do the job but he was clearly too … Continue reading The art of the HURKLE DURKLE
I took this picture in 2012 and it remains one of the best I have ever taken. I was going through a horrible breakup when my parents (in their infinite wisdom) whisked me away on a much needed holiday to Canada. We were in Kelowna when I took this picture. I'm not one for waxing lyrical … Continue reading The best picture I have probably ever taken
I'm really proud of Taylor Swift for speaking out about the unwanted physical attention she received from a certain radio DJ - and in turn (quite rightly) winning her court case. The DJ was found to have lifted the back of Swifts skirt and grab her bum while posing for a photo with the star … Continue reading Why I’m proud of Taylor Swift
It's raining. In fact, its been raining all day. Actually I would go so far as to say that it's been raining in a way that is almost exclusive to London (a fine mist that comes from all directions). This is rain that you can't seem to escape. Rain that almost becomes an oppressive smog. … Continue reading Another beautiful day in london…