I’m in a weird mood

As you can probably tell - I'm in a weird mood. My skin has partially broken out (bad), the inland revenue gave me £4,000 for overtaxing last year (good) - and my auntie just died (heartbreaking). There are also thunderflies everywhere, which makes any situation ten times worse. I attended the funeral in a fabulous … Continue reading I’m in a weird mood

Loo review – Whistle Trego, Hastings

I was recently in Hastings for a relaxing weekend away when I happened upon a little bar down an equally little side street. It was called Whistle Trego. This was quite an eclectic bar with random bits of art installed on the wall. It was the kind of a bar that (were it in Shoreditch) … Continue reading Loo review – Whistle Trego, Hastings

Adventures of a depressed executive assistant

Dear Diary Team keeps telling me what a lovely day it is outside while I sit at my desk, inbox heaving I can smell fresh air coming from a meeting room window kept ajar. It smells like freshly cut grass and broken dreams Dear Diary Chased by a homeless man in the park today while … Continue reading Adventures of a depressed executive assistant

All you need is love (and books and chicken soup…)

Everyone in our W1 office has some form of bug, flu or plague at the moment and inevitably my time has now come to share in this unwelcome game of tag. As it's Easter, my parents have taken pity on me and insisted I visit them regardless of the projectile mucus and 'Regan'-esque Exorcist vocals … Continue reading All you need is love (and books and chicken soup…)

I found Narnia – and it was terrifying

Okay. So. As you know, I have been struggling with my health recently. I have been a bit of a pass-the-parcel patient of late. I went to the doctor, who referred me to a gyno, who sent me to have a transvaginal ultrasound. This was conducted by a kindly, older Dr (who was the spitting … Continue reading I found Narnia – and it was terrifying

Meeting the parents… Part 1

It was Valentines Day last week. Except - it wasn't just Valentines Day. It was also my six-year anniversary with Mr Maybe, my (long suffering) boyfriend. "Who has their first date on Valentines Day?" You might ask. Well, we did. If only to ensure that if it all worked out we would both remember exactly when Kismet first struck. Anyway … Continue reading Meeting the parents… Part 1

So this is thirty … (two)

It was my thirty-second birthday on Wednesday. I would have posted about it... but it was tremendously low-key and spent deep cleaning my flat, doing the laundry, wallowing in the bath and binge watching Netflix while drinking large quantities of rum. Much like Captain Jack Sparrow. As you do. It's a weird feeling to enter … Continue reading So this is thirty … (two)

Well… this is awkward. AKA retrospective blogging

I don't know about any of you who may or may not have a blog of your own, but vast quantities of The Mottled Macaroon is in draft form and posted in retrospect. Generally my life is a fabulous mess swirling round on itself like microwave porridge. And despite this admittedly being a bottomless pit … Continue reading Well… this is awkward. AKA retrospective blogging

Therapy of choice? Pumpkin carving

Mr Maybe and I carved pumpkins last night. I have to admit I had been looking forward to this for quite a while. Mostly because reaching for a kitchen knife after a long, hard day in the office and proceeding to yank out a pumpkins innards - only to then additionally carve a smiling face into … Continue reading Therapy of choice? Pumpkin carving

Why I’m proud of Taylor Swift

I'm really proud of Taylor Swift for speaking out about the unwanted physical attention she received from a certain radio DJ - and in turn (quite rightly) winning her court case. The DJ was found to have lifted the back of Swifts skirt and grab her bum while posing for a photo with the star … Continue reading Why I’m proud of Taylor Swift

Another beautiful day in london…

It's raining.  In fact, its been raining all day. Actually I would go so far as to say that it's been raining in a way that is almost exclusive to London (a fine mist that comes from all directions). This is rain that you can't seem to escape. Rain that almost becomes an oppressive smog. … Continue reading Another beautiful day in london…

Remain calm

Like every other person out there, I was looking forward to starting the new year by etch-a-sketching the amount I ate and drank over the holiday period and beginning the self-congratulatory road to both enlightenment and rock hard abs. Sadly, since the beginning of the new year there has been building work going on at … Continue reading Remain calm

Christmas 2016

I think we can all agree that 2016 was a terrible, TERRIBLE year that can't end soon enough. However, Christmas has arrived in the blink of an eye and this year I was entirely unprepared for it. It just sort of turned up like an uninvited house guest demanding special treatment and attention. I am feeling incredibly … Continue reading Christmas 2016